The Spider
by Atricea
Summary: This story begins the morning after Lucrezia's husband Alfonso died. Cesare is not in the bed beside her, where she would have him be Lucrezia decides that no matter the cost, their love must be kept sacred. But when Cesare's wife comes to Rome and Micheletto intervenes, events take a darker turn...
1. Part 1: She Would Be A Spider

**Part 1: She Would Be A Spider**

He wasn't there… again. Was she never to wake up next to the man she loved? When they had finally fallen asleep, she had hoped and dreamed that tomorrow, she'd wake up and she would nestle herself onto his shoulder, inhale a breath of his scent and sleep a little longer. And he would hold her and kiss her forehead and he would tell her what he told her last night; that she was his. But now, she rolled over in the large bed and she was all alone in it. Where had he gone to now? Probably to take care of that Sforza bitch again. God she hated her and she hated knowing that her love had a past with that bitch. Think that her brother had a past with a woman who would happily dispose of their entire family! On top of that, she naturally hated knowing that he could desire someone that was not her. But what could she do? She loved him. She couldn't change it and now she knew that she didn't want to either. She'd never marry again.

Lucrezia picked up her shift and slid it over her head. Then she picked a gown and stepped into a pair of convenient slippers and left the room. The first person she encountered was a maid, now on her way to make the bed that Lucrezia and her love tore apart last night. She smiled by the thought, but the smile faded easily by the memory of his silent disappearance. She was about to yell at the next maid she saw, but when she moved around the corner, she saw him standing there, by the window, looking out. And in the same moment her breath caught in her throat and she stopped, he turned to look at her. He looked troublesome, as always. Her brother, the troubled soul… who loved her and made her his although he knew he should not. It would never not trouble him, she knew that.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead, he approached her, took her into his arms and held her in a tight embrace. He kissed her hair, as a good brother should. She closed her eyes and buried her face against his chest, "You have to leave, don't you? Will you never stay?" She asked, finally looking up at those eyes she adored so much… but only when they looked at her. Or when they fought for her. Or when they promised to please her… she sighed again. Being close to him did nothing good to her desire for him.

"You know I can't. Besides, sis… you are a widow now and supposed to mourn. Remember… the blood?" He had cleansed her, he had undressed her, he had made her feel like she was reborn in his arms and against his body. She had forgotten it all, but of course he had to make her remember. He was the conscience she apparently did not have.

"How can I forget? How can I forget anything that happened last night?" She reached to pull him down towards her, but he pulled back as a maid walked by. Lucrezia forced him to look at her, "Don't mind them. Don't you think they know? Don't you think all of Rome knows, now… after what we did… together?" But he did not bend down to kiss her. Instead he pulled back, although not far enough to stop touching her. It was as if touching her made all the difference.

"Rome knows, but Rome is not supposed to know. Our father…" Cesare trailed off for a moment, before he seemed to make up his mind, "I need to return." Her brother pulled entirely away from her, without as much as a proper kiss. Lucrezia sighed and looked down, fighting the urge to cry. Not because she was sad, but because she hated that it had to be like this. But she would fight! And she would make it so he'd never want to leave again. She _needed_ him!

"You will return to me. You will." Lucrezia said then, "If our love must be kept at night in the darkness, so be it. But we will keep it. I will not let you go again." She took a step back, but this time, he didn't allow it. A moment later, she felt his arm behind her back and a hard and heated kiss pressed to her lips. And when she opened her eyes again after that moment of bliss, he was on his way down the stairs. Towards Rome, towards their father… towards something that was not her. Lucrezia turned to order a proper warm bath and mourning clothes presented to her. Perhaps she'd have a new gown made. She would be a black widow. But not the one mourning her husband – he was gone now, after all. Instead, she would be a spider.


	2. Part 2: Being Desirable

**Part 2: Being Desirable**

She was already in her bed, when she heard footsteps outside in the hall. Lucrezia knew those footsteps. He had done as she asked; he had returned to her. No words were spoken when the door opened and closed, but she heard the familiar sound of a cloak being taken off, the boots kicked off and the coat and the belts and blades removed. And then she felt his body creep into the bed next to her, underneath the sheets and his body touched hers once more. His hand ran over her body and she pressed against his hand, wanting to feel its warmth. No words were exchanged. They didn't need to. All they had to do was be what they were: Borgias.

When her eyes opened that next morning, she was the first to wake. Lucrezia felt an inner bliss, when she was finally able to nestle against his body and she buried her face towards his neck. Her lips found his skin and her hands his body and he definitely stirred too. When they were both more than awake, he gave her that look: Now you made me do it again… _that_ look. She laughed.

"Oh Cesare, you know I'll make you do it again. And I know you must leave." She honestly didn't care right now. He had been here when she woke and she had been given what she longed for. Now she could go through the day without any problems at all.

"Father wishes to see you." Those just had to be the first serious words to escape his lips this morning, didn't they? She was amused and pleased… and he just _had_ to mention their father. But of course… the inevitable was to come and if he did not mention it now, she'd never give him the chance to. He knew her too well too.

"Of course he does. And what will I tell him? Oh, my husband fell upon Cesare's blade and then he accidentally drank the poison I made for him. I'm sorry father that another marriage you set up for me is ruined. I will not have another." Lucrezia added and slid out of the bed, happy to be naked and move around near the man she loved most in the world. He sat up too and reached for his trousers, but then folded his arms over his knees.

"You will have another, you know that. You are his daughter and you are young. You can still have children. You are… desirable." He added, but he was not smiling. How could he smile, when he also didn't want for her to marry again? They wanted each other. Lucrezia entered the bed once more, crawling up to mount him once more.

"I _am_ desirable, am I not? But I am also more than that. I am a Borgia. And I will not fall for his schemes again." And with that, she slid off him just as his hands ran over her again and she smiled from the side of the bed, "Tell father that I will see him. But remind him that I am mourning." And with that, she went to find her shift once more and move on with the day; just as he would. And he would return to her tonight again. He would be a fool if he didn't, and Cesare Borgia was certainly no fool.


	3. Part 3: Seeing Father

**Part 3: Seeing Father**

Alfonso had been dead a week, when Lucrezia finally left her home to pay a visit to her father – the Holy Father, the Pope of Rome! Although she had not been in the Vatican as much as she used to, due to marriage, she was still a well-known figure. And now she wandered through the halls, dressed in a dark dress with only her white shift peeping out here and there. Her skin was pale and her hair was made up nicely. She looked every bit the widow she had to be. Sure, she had loved Alfonso, in her own way. He had been sweet. But he shouldn't have attacked Cesare.

And look, just by thinking of him, she summoned him. He rounded a corner with his new henchman in tow, looking more worried than usual. Lucrezia stepped in to block his way, and he stopped, although he appeared impatient. Why? They were almost like a real married couple these days, with his nightly visits to her and their discussions when the morning came.

"What is wrong, dearest brother? I dislike seeing you so." Lucrezia said, sounding all kinds of sweet and formal at the same time. There were other people here, after all. They had to keep up their act as simple siblings and nothing more. Cesare took a few steps closer to her, so he could speak in a lower voice. She wondered what demanded such action.

"I will tell you later. This… will not please you, my love. Go, see father. He is waiting impatiently." Cesare stepped back again, although she wished for nothing more than to pull him close again and ignore the guards and cardinals and even his annoying new henchman. She missed Micheletto; although he was strange… he had still been so close to her brother. She knew Micheletto cared deeply for her brother, and in that, they had a bond. And her brother never said where he went. But that was a talk for another time. She nodded elegantly to her brother, said nothing more and continued towards her father's private chambers.

She strode in, perfect and beautiful as always, and her father turned from the window where he stood. Easily moving over to embrace him and receive a kiss on her cheek, she returned his embrace, but it was rather stiff. And he should know why.

"My dearest daughter…" Rodrigo said as they pulled from each other, "I am sorry for your loss. You loved Alfonso, didn't you?" After all, when she finally married him, he had thrown a dozen other suitors at her and she had been very hard to please. It was only natural, after her first marriage to Sforza, but still… and now her husband was gone, once more. He took a moment to look at her and although dressed in dark colors and with relaxed lines on her face, there was something in her eyes. She was not unhappy. Of course he had heard the rumors, but he would not comment on them. Never.

"I did, father. I loved him. And now I mourn his death." She replied calmly and remained standing in the middle of the room, watching her father as closely as he watched her. All she waited for was for him to suddenly mention that she had to remarry.

"Of course you do. And how is little Giovanni?" Her son with her first husband, although she wished she could say it was Paolo's. Oh Paolo, her dearest Narcissus, dead too. Were all men she took to her bed destined to die? A horrific thought passed through her a moment, but no… it happened a good while ago for the first time, and her brother yet lived. Then again, the others had survived for quite a long time too. Oh… her heart began beating faster and she forced herself to focus on the question her father asked.

"He is doing well, growing and laughing. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't know what to do in a situation like this. I am so glad that I am loved." Lucrezia said. And she knew her son loved her as she loved him – but it wasn't his love that kept her going these days. Right, she needed to think about something else, "Was that all, father?"

"Almost. You know what else, Lucrezia." He added with a certain look and Lucrezia didn't even care to fight the urge to roll her eyes; she did roll her eyes and brushed the front of her dress.

"I am mourning, or did you forget? I will not marry another. Not yet. Perhaps not at all." She said, raising her chin and meeting his eyes, "You know how hard it was for me to find Alfonso. There will never be another like him. I will not marry again." She added, but she knew her brother was right. She was her father's daughter, he was the Pope of Rome and she would have to marry. If she kicked and screamed and cried, it would not matter. She would have to. And the look in her father's eyes told her that her thoughts were true.


	4. Part 4: God's Mercy

**Part 4: God's Mercy**

Of course she could not avoid marriage. She could scream and cry all she wanted, but her father had a way with getting things through and done… and she knew he was already busy looking for another suitor, despite her proclamation of mourning. She just hoped that her new husband would be at least tolerable, as Alfonso had been. She really had loved Alfonso, hadn't she? But by now, he was long since put to rest in the ground with the proper rituals and ceremony, and Lucrezia had watched it all with a veil covering her eyes. She had cried for him. But when her tears had dried, there were no more. The night he died, everything changed. Cesare said she was a true professional now… a professional Borgia, he said. She was just like he was. And together, they had removed her husband from her life; Cesare with his sword, Lucrezia with her poison. Nothing could come between them now.

Nothing but the news that Cesare had, at least. He had said that the news he had would not please her, but she didn't know what they were. Not until she saw him again at dinnertime that same evening. After a bit of calm initial talking, she decided it was about time, "So, brother… why that constant grave look in your eyes? And you can't meet mine?" She asked, and then he did look up at her, while reaching for his goblet of wine. He played with the stem a bit, as if he was thinking hard about something. Lucrezia waited in silence, not even picking up her food for now.

"Charlotte is coming; she is on her way, with our daughter." Cesare finally revealed and Lucrezia leaned back in her seat, almost as if defeated. He was right; this did not please her. His wife would come and he and Lucrezia would be torn apart for a while. She already disliked Charlotte although she had never met her. Oh, she would act like the perfect sister in law and welcome her and treat her kindly; and the child, she would treat like her own. Cesare had always cared for Giovanni, after all. His child would be hers too. But Charlotte, on the other hand…

"How long will she stay?" Lucrezia wondered and now picked up her wine too. Cesare inhaled a breath; it was obvious he hated discussing this with her.

"I don't know if she'll leave again. She is my wife. She belongs in my house." Cesare explained and of course he was right. It was only just and fair, that they lived together. Lucrezia had also lived with her husband, hadn't she? Slept with him and loved him and dined with him and they had done everything married couples did. But that was Lucrezia and that was her life. This was now the love of her life, whose wife would take Lucrezia's time away from him.

"Of course she does." Lucrezia said, "She is your wife. She must stay with you." The hurt in her voice shone through though and Cesare stood to move around the table to her. He crouched next to her chair and took her hand in his; kissed the palm of it. Their eyes finally met, for the first time this evening and Lucrezia almost cried by the way it made her feel, "It isn't fair, Cesare. Why can't it be fair?" He rested his head against her hand and she ran her fingers through his curly hair.

"We are Borgias. But we are also at God's mercy." Cesare replied and kissed her hand again; this time a strange and soft lingering kiss, different from the one just before, "God's mercy… is this, now." She could hear it in his voice; how his desire was growing suddenly and Lucrezia reached to pull him upwards towards her. Hours later Cesare said again that God was indeed merciful for having placed her so close to him. What if she hadn't been his sister? He made Lucrezia smile again, despite all the pain.

"If I hadn't been your sister, I wouldn't have been anything at all. I love you, Cesare." She said and rolled over on her stomach, so he could run his finger down over her spine and caress her backside. Of course she loved him. And of course she had to be his sister. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the pain and enjoy the moment. But a maid knocked on her door; four simple knocks and Lucrezia buried her head in the pillow.

"What is it?" Cesare did not yet know what the knocks meant, but Lucrezia had a deal with her servants. And they had been advised not to speak, when she was spending time with her brother. Instead, the knocks had a meaning. She looked up at him.

"Mother is here." And with that, she rolled out of bed to get dressed. Cesare stood too, to get dressed too and to help her with the dress. He smiled as he did the laces and although he stood behind her, Lucrezia could almost feel the smile, "What perfect siblings we are."


	5. Part 5: It Runs In the Family

**Part 5: It Runs In the Family**

Vanozza was waiting for her in the dining room and Lucrezia entered, once more wearing her dark dress and her face was almost expressionless. Vanozza however; her face was anything but that. Lucrezia could always tell when her mother was troubled and upset, and right now that's what was going on. Perhaps it was her mind that Cesare had inherited? They were still at their Vatican palace though and Lucrezia had to be more careful here – even though she just returned from her bedroom and she hadn't exactly been alone there either.

"Mother…" Lucrezia said and Vanozza made her way over to her daughter, meeting her eyes with that firm look. She seemed to study Lucrezia closely, and then she took a step back, as if she had seen something she did not wish to see. She reached out a hand to touch Lucrezia's cheek and then she sighed deeply.

"Didn't your husband just die… not weeks ago?" Vanozza then finally said. Oh thanks mother, I am pleased to see you too, Lucrezia thought to herself. But then she reminded herself that her mother had once been a courtesan. She knew things and she especially knew things when it came to events in bed. Did she know or guess… what was going on with Cesare? That would be bad. None of their parents would approve, she knew that. They'd scold them and keep them apart.

"He did, mother. I, however, live. And I have needs." Lucrezia tried defending herself without mentioning her brother at all, but her mother arched a brow, not convinced.

"Yes, you have needs. So does the Pope. But he does not flush them in your face… the way you do. You're blushing, Lucrezia. Your skin is still hot. Which lover have you taken?" Vanozza said and before Lucrezia could consider an answer, she heard a door open. And she could almost recognize that way to open a door and enter a room. Did he _have_ to enter right now? When her mother had just asked this crucial question?

"Mother… it is a family reunion." Cesare said and approached their mother to embrace her, as if nothing strange was happening, "Well it would be, if father was here too." He added while he pulled away and gave Lucrezia a soft smile. He was very cheerful, she thought to herself; too cheerful. Not his usual troubled self. That would be a giveaway too. Lucrezia looked up at him and reached to take his hand and hold it gently in his.

"Indeed it would be, dearest brother. But it is not. Mother does not think it appropriate that I have needs, just because I'm a widow." Lucrezia complained to her brother, meeting his eyes and knowing he'd be on her side. But her mother would guess, would she not? Surely she had heard the rumors too… and the way she'd looked at Lucrezia when she first appeared tonight. She could not forget the look on her mother's face. She knew _something_ , that was for sure. She let go of Cesare's hand and walked over to the table, where a jar of wine and the goblets from her dinner with Cesare earlier still stood.

"Of course she has needs; is that so wrong? I am married and my wife yet lives… and I have needs. Even our father does and you as well. You know better than we, even, since you're our mother. It runs in the family, does it not?" Cesare said in a strange attempt to lighten the mood and still point out a few things to their mother. Vanozza glanced away for a moment with a slightly annoyed huff. But what could she do, when both of her present children agreed in speaking up against her? Cesare had always defended his sister.

"It does." She confessed then, "But you need to be careful with that, both of you. Your wife is on her way, I heard? I look forwards to meeting her." Vanozza addressed Cesare, then looked to Lucrezia, "And your father is considering your next husband. He can't afford to lose any of you to gossip." Vanozza said and Lucrezia sipped the wine she just poured. Oh she could be careful. She could be more than that. She could take care of things, and she would.

"I know, mother." Lucrezia finally said, "But enough talk of husbands and wives and needs. Are you hungry?" She added, now with a lighter and kinder smile to her mother. But it was all a façade. She had promised herself that nothing would come between her and Cesare again. And she would do all she could to keep that promise.


	6. Part 6: Unwelcome Changes

**Part 6: Unwelcome Changes**

After she had spoken to both her mother and her father, she supposed things ought to change. They had both warned her of the changes that would come, and her mother had made her consider the life she lived right now. Yet… she did not wish to do anything different. And she couldn't, because that would mean distance between her and her beloved and she could not imagine that. So that very same night, she once more fell asleep in his arms, not daring to ask when his wife would arrive. She could not bear to think about it.

And things did not change the following time either. Days turned into weeks and Lucrezia found herself somewhat pleased with her life for once. They spent their nights together and often their days far apart, only sometimes dining together… but most often he would come to her bed once the palace was quiet and everyone had settled in for the night. Then the cloak would be hung over a chair, boots kicked off and bodies would entwine again. She longed for it to happen and she was always relaxed when he came to her, because now she knew he'd come to her. One morning though, a servant knocked on the door with a note and Lucrezia opened the door just enough to receive it. Her eyes widened though, when she saw Cesare's name upon the note. They knew he was in here, didn't they? And they knew to whom this chamber belonged… _they knew_. But a moment later, she pretended like nothing was going on and handed Cesare the note in bed. And although he'd watched her just a moment ago, with those gentle eyes full of love, it all changed as he read the note.

"Her expected arrival is today." Cesare revealed. He never spoke unless he really had to and these were the first words this morning. Of course Lucrezia knew who he was talking about. Charlotte was coming, with his daughter. He was to act like the proper Duke of Valentino and Lucrezia was to act like the perfect little sister, recently a widow once more. Once he left this room today, certain things would change and not be the way they were.

"What about this, then? What about tonight?" Lucrezia asked and Cesare held a hand out for her. Lucrezia entered the bed, resting her head on his lap while he ran fingers through her hair, "I can't stand the thought of not waking up beside you, Cesare. I can't stand not feeling your love so near." She said and almost pressed her cheek more against his thigh, as if that would glue them together.

"I know, my love." He said, "But I will be with her tonight. And I will have to introduce you – she wants to meet you." Cesare added and Lucrezia closed her eyes for a brief moment, fighting the urge to scream and yell at him for saying that. But she knew it was all true. She also knew something else though; that note he held in her hand and the way it had arrived. Lucrezia wanted to change the subject and not talk about the woman she did not really wish to meet. She sat up again and looked at him.

"I know we have to… slow down. Did you consider how that note came to be in your hand? This is my chamber, Cesare. And they knew you were in here, at this hour." The sun had barely risen yet, but here she sat, naked in her bed with her brother and they were far from children and far from innocent, "I suppose mother is right." Lucrezia finally said with a sigh.

"She knows us too well… even better than father. I suppose needs and longings will have to rest for a while." He was watching her; she could feel his beautiful hazel eyes watching her intently. Lucrezia looked up to meet those beloved eyes and he opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. He didn't know what else to say. Lucrezia knew, though.

"Is this God's mercy, Cesare? How can mercy feel so… painful? It shouldn't. I want him here, in the room with me. But he is only here and merciful when you are." She said, while the tears fought to come through and overwhelm her. Lucrezia tore herself away from the bed before it could happen and she tore herself away from his gaze. She looked for her shift, but didn't find it. Some maid had probably come to pick it up during the night to wash it. Some maid… had probably seen them in bed together.

Finally she picked up a robe, to wrap around her body, but it was as if she couldn't tie it right and make a proper knot. Lucrezia fought it and then she gave in. Tears ran down over her cheeks and the next moment, Cesare was behind her, holding her close to him and she turned around and cried against his naked chest. He let her. He didn't try and stop her and he spoke no soothing words. The tears were necessary, he knew that. She needed to cry in order to be strong when she had to face the present again. When she finally looked at him, he gently brushed her tears away with his fingers.

"No one will ever mean more to me, than you. Remember that." He asked her, while keeping his eyes locked with hers. Oh she wanted to remember that. And she'd try her very best when he would introduce her to his wife. It was going to be the toughest task yet.


	7. Part 7: Charlotte

**Part 7: Charlotte**

It had been too long since she had even seen him and it felt like her heart was torn apart. When she finally received the message that Cesare and Charlotte were inviting her for dinner, it didn't help. Dinner, with the man she loved and the woman she despised, despite never having met her. Whatever else Cesare was doing in his life at the moment mattered little. Of course she knew he was busy planning an empire with their father, but why couldn't Lucrezia be a proper princess to the prince? Still she dressed beautifully, although still in her darkest blue dress, and she made sure she looked more stunning than she had in a long time.

And like this, she left the carriage hours later to enter Cesare's home and meet his wife and daughter. Although she knew the way, she allowed that the servant showed her into the dining room and there she waited, watching the fire in the fireplace. It felt like her heart was burning too. In a moment, she'd see Cesare again and that made her heart beat faster. But in a moment, she'd also meet his wife. And that caused the fire to also set her cheeks ablaze. Finally the door opened and Cesare entered with his wife in tow. He was the first to walk to her and embrace her like a proper brother would. Lucrezia hid her face by his chest first; oh she had missed him and the scent and feeling of him. But before the feeling took her over, she pulled back.

"Lucrezia…" Cesare stepped back too and held out his hand for Charlotte to approach them, "Please meet my bride. Charlotte; my dearest sister." Cesare said warmly, introducing them properly and finally Lucrezia took a proper look at this woman; dark and obviously French. Did she have to be beautiful? Of course, her brother deserved nothing less but a beautiful wife, yet… the wife wasn't her. And she wondered why he had picked this one, because to a man like Cesare, beauty wasn't enough. Not when he finally had to choose a bride. Still she smiled and moved in to gently embrace Charlotte and kiss her cheeks.

"Charlotte, I have longed to meet you. I hope your journey was well? I can't wait to see what our children will think of each other." She said with a smile, although of course Giovanni was older than Cesare's daughter. She had to be very small still, she thought. Small and the product of this strange and to Lucrezia unwanted alliance.

"My journey was well, thank you. I am certain they will be fond of each other." Charlotte said with her obvious French accent and indicated towards the table so they might sit. Cesare had stepped back to watch the women converse and probably try to make up his mind about what to do about them. Charlotte smiled secretively at him, and then turned her attention to Lucrezia once more as they sat, "I was told you're a recent widow?"

"Yes, my husband had an unfortunate accident." Lucrezia confessed, not even glancing towards Cesare as she said it, "I am certain my father will find another for me though. Perhaps I could find a husband to make me as happy, as you made Cesare." She added, watching Charlotte closely, and the woman laughed.

"We did make each other happy. He kept his promise to me and I kept mine to him." Charlotte said, sounding quite pleased with the situation and finally Cesare took a seat too, by the end of the table. Lucrezia and Charlotte sat on each their side, facing each other. He had certainly chosen the right seat, Lucrezia thought. Charlotte appeared kind, she thought. It was such a pity she was also Cesare's wife and had come to Rome.

"Keeping promises is good. More marriages should be like yours." Lucrezia said with a fading smile, and then she could not keep the question within for any longer, "Do you expect to stay for long, dearest sister?" She asked and once more, Charlotte smiled. She seemed like a very cheerful woman and Lucrezia could see why Cesare chose her… in some ways, she would remind him of Lucrezia; but not in every way. And she would never _be_ Lucrezia. This new found jealousy was strange; Cesare had had lovers before and as long as his wife was in France, everything was fine. But his past lovers were before Lucrezia concluded that only a Borgia could truly love a Borgia. Everything had changed since then.

"I am not sure yet." Charlotte said, looking to her husband for a moment, with a spark in her eye, "That depends on your brother, I think. For how long does he want to keep his wife close?" She said, watching her husband and her smile faded because Cesare appeared so thoughtful still. He had not uttered a word since the women began talking, and now he sat up more in his chair again. Lucrezia could tell that he fought to appear more cheerful. Lucrezia knew him well. Cesare reached to place his hand on top of Lucrezia's on the table, and she inhaled a slight breath by the touch. She almost couldn't stand it. He touched her, but tonight, he would be with Charlotte. He squeezed her hand gently then, as if he knew and reminded her to stay focused.

"We will see... for how long she can stand my company." Cesare said with a small smile, meeting Lucrezia' eyes as if to tell her: 's _he's not you'_. Then he inhaled a breath and let go of her hand, "But all that is not the present. Tomorrow, I will introduce you to my daughter. An aunt should meet her niece." Cesare said and gave Charlotte a warm smile next. Lucrezia felt the sting of jealousy again; Charlotte had given Cesare a daughter. They had something she might never have with him. A child of their strange union was certainly not the right thing to wish for; was it? Lucrezia did what she could to plaster on a joyful façade though.

"I can barely wait. I expect her to be the sweetest thing that will bring me much delight." Lucrezia said and knew that it wasn't even a lie. The girl's mother, on the other hand… might bring Cesare some delight, but she brought Lucrezia nothing but pain. Her heart hurt. And she did not know for long this would last. Cesare was so elegant and polite; Lucrezia would have to take care of this on her own.


	8. Part 8: Help from the Dead

**Part 8: Help from the Dead**

Cesare's daughter Louise was a perfect little dark girl… she resembled both of her parents, but she had inherited Cesare's eyes. Lucrezia knew the moment she saw the girl; she'd recognize those eyes anywhere. They spent a good while in their father's private garden in the Vatican, enjoying both of their children and each other. Charlotte had been invited to visit with an acquaintance of hers near Rome, and Cesare had naturally chosen to stay behind. When Giovanni was picked up by his nanny and Louise was laid in to nap too, Lucrezia finally had moments alone with Cesare. But they were in the garden, with guards and servants near and with the chance of their parents walking in every moment.

Lucrezia watched Cesare go and lie down on a large blanket, where they had been playing with the children. She longed to lie beside him, but she feared that might make her long for more. They should keep their distance while in the public eye. On the other hand, she thought, they had always been close. Why should they not love each other dearly, like siblings should?

"Cesare, for how long will she stay?" She finally asked from her seat in the small pavilion, and Cesare sat up. He had had a relaxed smile upon his handsome face before, but if faded now.

"She won't tell me. She says that Rome does not suit her; it is too warm for her and Louise. Yet she does not seem busy heading home." Cesare confessed and Lucrezia sighed. She feared Charlotte might be here to stay for good and she could not stand that thought. Just knowing she shared Cesare's bed with him, instead of Lucrezia, was something she could not stand. God had been merciful; now he punished them. Lucrezia would not allow it.

That same evening, she sat in her own chamber after Cesare had retreated to his with Charlotte. She looked out the window, watching another night which she'd spend without Cesare. Suddenly though, she felt as if someone stood near her and she turned swiftly with a gasp, for she had not heard anyone coming. But before she could exclaim anything, the other person covered her mouth with a hand and placed a finger over his own mouth. He was gentle, however, not rough. She was to be quiet. When she had calmed down, he removed his hand.

"Micheletto." Lucrezia said softly. He looked like always; somewhat scruffy, as if his hair was never combed. But his clothes were fine and clean and he wasn't starving. He was just his own slender and strong self. She could barely remember when she last saw him, "Why are you here? Why are you not with my brother?" She asked finally, facing him in the moonlight from the window.

"I watch your family, always. You are unhappy, milady. And so is your brother." Micheletto said and she could hardly argue against that, "I know what is on your mind and I will advise against it. I will take care of it for you." Lucrezia wondered if he did indeed know exactly what she was thinking, but did she dare say it out loud? On the other hand, he had always been loyal to her family. Cesare still hadn't told her why Micheletto left, but apparently… he hadn't really left. He was just hiding in the shadows, apparently watching them. He knew too, did he not? Yet he did not seem to judge her or them.

"And what is on my mind, Micheletto?" Lucrezia said, raising her chin a bit and watching him closely. He was always so… firm and patient, and in a very different way than her brother. Micheletto's eyes never left hers either.

"You don't like your brother's wife. She hinders your happiness. You want me to take care of it, hm? The answer should be easy." Micheletto said honestly and now Lucrezia looked away, out into the night once more. Did she really want to dispose of Charlotte… she knew it was a political alliance too and she was certain there was little love between the husband and bride. On the other hand, they did seem to enjoy each other's company. But every moment Charlotte spent with Cesare, was a moment lost to Lucrezia. Cesare did not know when she would leave. Micheletto was right. And perhaps it would be safer, if done by him.

"Yes." Lucrezia finally said, looking at him again, "But I don't want to know how. Only when. And keep his daughter safe." Luckily Louise was still young enough to be handed over to another nanny and mother; she was born earlier this same year. Lucrezia could be her mother; take care of her with Cesare. She would love to take care of his child. She'd do anything for him. But first, she needed him. She needed him so much! "You won't tell him, right?"

"Your secret is safe with me; I am dead to your brother." Micheletto promised, but before Lucrezia could speak, he continued, "He may not be pleased, however. Your father will not, of this I am certain." Micheletto then added with a certainty she couldn't mistake. He was right, in everything he had said, but it was settled now, "Take care, milady. Soon you will both smile again." And with that, Micheletto turned to walk away and leave her chamber. She didn't look after him; she had not seen him arrive and she would not see him leave. He was a ghost, dead to her brother and belonging in the shadows. But he would make her smile again. She would anxiously await the message about the 'when'.


	9. Part 9: Eyes

**Part 9: Eyes**

Lucrezia saw her brother again the very next day, but she could not meet his eyes. They passed each other in a hallway in the Vatican, and she looked straight ahead and not directly at him. She gave him a gentle nod as they walked by each other, but she did not stop to talk. Last night, Micheletto had visited with her; not her brother. He _knew_ and apparently wished to lend quite the helping hand, when it came to their happiness… but her brother did not know that. He was dead to her brother. Still, although Lucrezia did indeed want what was coming and what was promised to her last night, she felt a sting of bad conscience. Charlotte was Cesare's wife and an important alliance. On top of this, the two seemed to get along. But with Charlotte not saying when she'd leave and if she'd ever return and thus threatening what Lucrezia had with Cesare, she was a problem that needed to be dealt with.

That night, she faced yet another night without Cesare by her side. Oh she missed him! It had been too long since she had felt his lingering kisses upon shoulders and lips and too long since his gentle, yet skilled hands had touched her and made her feel closer to God. It was as if God was not even near her, and she was in the Vatican, after all. Should he not be here? She turned in her bed, feeling cold and lonely and eventually she slept. She thought it was a dream when naked and warm skin touched hers and she was turned over and a familiar body covered hers and she gave into the pleasure without even opening her eyes. It was only afterwards that she knew it was definitely no dream; no dream could make her feel like this.

"Does she not miss you by her side?" Lucrezia finally said in the darkness, and Cesare rested upon his elbow, looking at her and touching her face gently with his free hand.

"Does it matter? I am here, now. That is what matters." He whispered and she was about to say something else, but he placed a finger over her lips to keep her quiet, "Why would you not look at me today?" He knew her too well, did he not? At any other given time, she would have looked at him and even smiled. But not today; and he had noticed that and he had thought about it. Lucrezia sighed, once again looking away from those eyes she adored so much, "Lucrezia…" Cesare said with an even more serious tone to his voice.

"It won't please you. I dislike not pleasing you." Lucrezia said and looked at him again, trying to change the subject, "I want you, near me, all the time. God had left me, Cesare. But now he is here again." She reached a hand up to curl fingers into his hair and pulled him into a kiss, "I don't want him to leave." She added softly against his lips and she could feel Cesare smile; and she saw it too, when he pulled back.

"You are sweet, sister." Cesare said and she knew that was love in his eyes. He called her sister, but he loved her more than that, "He will return to you, soon. Louise is not thriving in the heat of Rome. Charlotte will return to France very soon." Cesare explained and that caused Lucrezia to really look at him. He wasn't making fun of her? No, he would not do that. Not when he knew how much it meant to her.

"She's not here to stay for good, then?" She asked, sounding more surprised than she wanted to. Cesare nodded and Lucrezia leaned back and stared up into the ceiling. These were good news. Perhaps Charlotte would never return and she would have Cesare forever. But Micheletto had probably already thought into this and he might be on his way to her right now. Cesare had, after all, left her alone tonight. Lucrezia felt her heart speed up and just then, Cesare caused diversion by running his hands over her body again and pressing a firm kiss to her lips. She forgot everything once more. But when he slept by her side and she caressed his cheek gently, all she could think about was the wife he might lose tonight.


	10. Part 10: Paranoia

**Part 10: Paranoia**

Cesare woke by the faintest change of light in Lucrezia's chamber. It was only a few moments later, that he thought he better return to Charlotte before she'd wonder where he had been all night. Of course he had an alibi; he told her he was going to spend a good time with some companions, but really he rarely did that and it would be easy to guess the lie if he did not return to her soon. Lucrezia was still asleep by his side, with her blonde and curly hair like a glory behind her head on the pillow. She was his angel and he would treasure her forever. But now, he had to return to his wife. Cesare slipped out of her bed, dressed in silence and walked through the still quiet Vatican towards his chambers, which he shared with wife and child at the moment.

Charlotte was still asleep too, and Cesare settled down in a chair near the window, thoughtful. He had just recalled that Lucrezia never told him why she would not look at him yesterday. She said he would not be pleased, and soon after, she had mentioned that she wanted him by her side. Cesare had reminded her that he was there and had even shared that he'd be there more often very soon. But Lucrezia had not spilled a thing. She had distracted him with sweet kisses and words of God and love… which, to Cesare and to Lucrezia especially, was the same thing. Cesare lost his fate a good while ago, but apparently, Lucrezia still had hers; yet only when he was with her. And still she would not tell him why she would not look at him before. He sighed and heard Charlotte stir in her bed. She opened her eyes and gave Cesare a tired smile.

"Already awake, husband?" She asked, "Why not join me?" She lifted the covers and Cesare nodded quietly, shrugged his coat off, kicked off the boots and slipped into bed with her. He didn't really feel in the mood to slip more clothes off right now, since he just came from Lucrezia's bed. He looked at his wife… Charlotte was so different than Lucrezia. She was not Lucrezia, after all. Charlotte ran a finger over his cheek, "What worries you? Something you will share with me?" She arched a brow with a spark in her eye. But Cesare was not ready to be cheerful right now.

"It is not for you to worry about." Cesare hadn't even realized he looked thoughtful, but he must have, with her comment. The rumors were out in Rome, but he hoped Charlotte had not heard any of them, "You should worry about nothing but how to enjoy this day. I could take you to the countryside. I'm certain Louise would also enjoy the fresh air." He suggested and Charlotte nodded with a smile. Cesare was glad that he diverted her and he would continue to do so, to keep her mind off whatever was on his.

Meanwhile, Lucrezia had noticed that Cesare had left her bed; and he had left her chamber and her side. He was no longer here. First she sighed; displeased with the fact, but then she remembered his words from last night about Charlotte leaving. And she remembered all too well the conversation she had with Micheletto! She feared Charlotte might be dead by now and Cesare would most certainly not be pleased with it. He loved Lucrezia, but he also knew how important the alliance with France was. If it wasn't for that alliance, the Sforza bitch would never have been caught. And now it would all be ruined and all for nothing! Lucrezia rang for a maid to help her get dressed and soon she was walking through the Vatican, on her way towards Cesare's chambers.

She was told that neither he nor Charlotte was there. Even Louise was gone. And they said they could not tell her where Cesare and Charlotte were. She definitely thought the servants gave her odd looks and hurried away. Perhaps they wouldn't tell her because Charlotte was now dead and Cesare would not see her, because he was investigating how she died or he was angry with Lucrezia, because he suspected she was behind it? And it was his own former henchman who had taken care of it. How could she contact Micheletto and tell him it was all wrong and she regretted it? She didn't even know where he lived or how he watched her family… all she knew was he said he did it. Besides, would it even change anything to contact if, if Charlotte was already gone for good?

Lucrezia retreated to her chambers and spent most of the day on her own, worried and wondering why no news had reached her yet. She received a note from her mother, telling her that they would all meet and dine together tonight and that caused even more worry. Were they to discuss what to do next, now that the bond with France was broken? Lucrezia didn't want to find out. Perhaps she should return to her deceased husband's castle and hide there. She called a maid to get some help packing to leave.


	11. Part 11: The Truth

_Apologies for the slow updates this week; I've been sick. But here is a new chapter, finally. Please review and a great thanks to those that did review so far. ~Atrice_

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 **Part 11: The Truth**

Lucrezia's cases were packed and she had ordered a carriage to be made ready for her. However the day had suddenly moved on quickly and a servant arrived to tell her to ready herself for the dinner with her family. Lucrezia sighed deeply; she did not wish to go. However, she now also realized that it would seem strange that she had disappeared right after Charlotte died, she thought to herself. She should show up. She told her maids to unpack and find a proper dress for this evening. A dark crimson dress was picked for her; she was still a widow and officially still mourning, so it should be dark. But Lucrezia grew weary of all the black, dark blue and dark brown. Dark crimson suited the situation well anyway, she thought. She had blood on her hands.

Yet when she arrived to her father's dining room and entered, Cesare and Charlotte were already there. Lucrezia stood for a moment, as if she had seen a ghost, but quickly regained her wits and approached the married couple. Charlotte was not dead. But when would it happen, then? She still had to get the word out to Micheletto. Lucrezia bit her bottom lip in a nervous manner, and did continue to worry during dinner – although of course she attempted to be her usual cheerful self. She didn't realize that she made mistakes even in her attempt to appear happy as always. Cesare however approached her afterwards by the fireplace, while Charlotte was discussing little Louise and her upbringing with Vanozza. Lucrezia knew Vanozza was quite taken with the little girl, but who wouldn't be? She was Cesare's daughter, after all.

"Lucrezia… you will not meet my eyes again." Cesare came very close to her and spoke in a low voice, while Lucrezia stared into the flames of the fireplace. She should be burning there. Charlotte was alive tonight, but Micheletto had made his promise and Lucrezia had said she wanted it to happen. She almost forgot Cesare spoke to her, until she felt his hand on her shoulder and finally looked up at him. And she shouldn't have. Lucrezia could lose herself in his worried and caring eyes; something she should not do in the present company. She regained herself once more though, even lifting her chin a bit.

"I am meeting them now, am I not? I will not…" She trailed off, reminding herself that they weren't alone right now, "You are my beloved brother. I wish only happiness for you." She said, but her words were somewhat emotionless, which only caused Cesare to wonder – she could tell by the look in his eyes – but a moment later, their father interrupted them and the moment ended. She did not get another chance to be alone with Cesare for now.

Hours later, Lucrezia had returned to her chamber. She had wanted to ask Cesare how to contact Micheletto, but she couldn't. Micheletto had said he was dead to Cesare, and it appeared as if he wished to keep it that way. She stood by the window, looking out, almost hoping that the assassin would approach her the same way he had done the other night. And someone did sneak into her room; but this someone wrapped his arms around her from behind, and she leaned against Cesare's chest while she closed her eyes. If only it could be like this, always. If only Micheletto hadn't come to her that night, sensing her wishes for Cesare's marriage with Charlotte…

"You must tell me what worries you. I cannot bear to see you like this." Cesare said and slid an arm up to gently play with a loose lock of her hair. Lucrezia leaned further against his shoulder, almost pressing the back of her head into it. She inhaled a breath and realized she was on the verge of tears and Cesare stopped playing with her hair, because he knew her well enough to know what that breath meant. Lucrezia turned around in his embrace, placing her hands on his chest and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I must tell you." She said while she nodded, "Will you still love me, if you know what is truly on my mind?" Lucrezia then asked and fought the urge to look away; her eyes were locked on his and Cesare nodded and brushed a tear away with his thumb.

"I will love you no matter what. Tell me, my love. And let us put this behind us… whatever it is." Cesare replied and Lucrezia inhaled a breath. The only problem was that they could not put this behind them; the plan was set into motion and Lucrezia could do nothing to influence it, unless they could find a way to contact Micheletto. Still she would no longer lie to her brother.


	12. Part 12: Falling Apart

**Part 12: Falling Apart**

Lucrezia sat on her bed, all alone in her chamber. She had told Cesare about the jealousy that had driven her to wish Charlotte dead. At first, Cesare had understood as always, but when she revealed that it wasn't just a wish – it was a plan she had set in motion – he had been upset. It wasn't because he loved Charlotte or cared more about her than he cared about Lucrezia… it was more the idea that Lucrezia had wished to dispose of an innocent women, who had done nothing but marry and bed Cesare. Was any woman who slept with him to die then? And she would rip a child from its mother's arms, because of jealousy. On top of this, there was the alliance with France. Lucrezia had begged for his forgiveness, but he wouldn't come near her at first. Cesare was in fact about to leave, when she said the one thing she knew would make him stop.

"Micheletto will do it." She stood in the middle of her chamber and Cesare had his hand on the door, but he did not open it. He stood still, as frozen, and then he turned towards her. She did not know when he last saw Micheletto, but she knew he had another henchman now and that Micheletto had said he was dead to her brother.

"Did you order it?" Cesare asked from his place by the door and Lucrezia bit her bottom lip, uncertain of how to explain it properly.

"He came to me; he wanted to help us, Cesare. He cares… and he said he would take care of it. I agreed that he should." Lucrezia said and Cesare inhaled a breath. She wanted to know his thoughts and emotions right now; she could see how this tore him apart. Micheletto, his former friend and henchman, had come to her, and not him. And he cared, still, despite not working for Cesare anymore. The silence lasted too long, "We have to find him. We have to tell him to not do it." She finally added.

"Indeed we do." Cesare said in a dark tone and those were his last words to her this night. He'd turned and left the chamber and left Lucrezia all alone. This was not how it was supposed to be! She had made a promise to herself; that she'd make it so Cesare never wanted to leave her again. And now he had left, once more. Charlotte was still a hindrance for their happiness, despite that she was now leaving. Lucrezia wasn't much of a spider now, was she?

The next morning she opened her eyes, only to realize she was alone. When she sat up, she looked at the cases in her chamber; the cases that had been packed so she could leave yesterday. But she hadn't made it. Yet they were all still packed and ready. Lucrezia called for a maid to help her get dressed and ordered a carriage made ready. She would have to leave before she caused more problems for her and her brother. The sun had barely been up an hour, when Lucrezia sat in her carriage on her way to the home she'd shared with Alfonso before his death. She didn't push the curtains aside to look at the morning outside; she did not feel she deserved to see its beauty. She had ruined everything and now she was on the run, while she tried to think of how she could make everything right again.


	13. Part 13: Calm Before the Storm

_Finally I had time to write another chapter. This one is from Cesare's point of view only; it seemed fitting. Lucrezia will be back soon. ~Atrice_

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 **Part 13: Calm Before the Storm**

Lucrezia was gone; Rufio had come to tell Cesare the important news. His new henchman wanted to know if he ought to follow her and find out what she would do, or if he should remain in Rome. Of course he should remain in Rome. Rufio served him well so far, but he was no Micheletto and he would not trust Rufio with his sister's life. Besides, he had important matters to think about now. Charlotte was leaving with Louise in a few days and he had to keep her safe until then; and that meant finding Micheletto to make sure he did not dispose of her.

But how did you find a man who was a master of not being found? He understood that Micheletto wanted to be dead to Cesare, after he – unwillingly and unknowingly betrayed him – but Cesare needed his old friend and assassin back. No one understood Cesare like Micheletto. Well, Lucrezia did, but it was different. He couldn't compare the two. Cesare shook the thought out of his head and continued trying to think of how to find Micheletto. He had to be in Rome, to look over the Borgias and to kill Charlotte. But where could he be?

A day and a night passed while Lucrezia was gone and Micheletto was nowhere to be seen. Cesare feared for Charlotte's life and barely left her side. Inwardly he cursed the youth and jealousy of his sister, even if he understood it too. He had been equally jealous when she was married, but it wasn't on purpose that her second husband fell upon his blade. And her first husband; well, he'd deserved it and Cesare would never regret that. He knew Lucrezia wouldn't either. But this was not Giovanni Sforza or Alfonso. This was Charlotte, his wife; the mother of his child. Cesare would follow her everywhere, as long as her life was in danger.

"I think that you will miss me, when I am gone." Charlotte said to him late in the day, the day after Lucrezia had gone. Funny, how time could be measured like that; the time when Lucrezia was close to him and the time when she was not. He forced himself to focus on his wife again.

"Why do you think that, loving wife?" Cesare asked with a grin, and Charlotte moved closer to him and stroked his cheek.

"You have not left my side today… and I know there must be more important matters to you, than I." Charlotte explained with a smile, "Is this the undying love, then?" She arched a brow and Cesare smiled again and caught her hand, leading it to his lips to kiss it.

"It is undying love, if you say it is. I do not even know my own heart. My wife is clever." Cesare said, hoping to distract her, but Charlotte was not so easily fooled… she was clever indeed.

"I do not always speak truth… just like you. You fear for my life. Why?" She asked and this was when he did meet her eyes, all too suddenly. She had guessed this? He did not know she would, but since she did, he thought the truth was better.

"Someone threatened to take it." He confessed, "You should leave, as soon as possible. Three days from now may be too late. France will be safer for you." Anywhere but Rome and anywhere near Cesare would be safer. If she left, he was certain that Micheletto would leave her alone. Lucrezia had said that Micheletto would do it for Cesare and Lucrezia, after all. If Charlotte was gone, she was no longer a threat to their love. Charlotte gained a more serious expression on her face.

"If you truly believe it is so, we will leave tomorrow." She promised him and Cesare was pleased… partly. That still left one more night where an assassin, in the cover of darkness, could approach the mother of his child. Nothing had happened by bedtime though, and Cesare waited while Charlotte went to see Louise one last time before she'd go to bed too. Everything would be good; she'd leave tomorrow. He leaned back on the pillow and folded his hands behind his head, staring up and wishing Lucrezia was the one entering his chamber in a moment. If only it was Lucrezia… but everything was silent and Cesare suddenly sat up with a gasp. He'd fallen asleep.

"Charlotte?!" She wasn't there, in bed with him. He rushed out of bed, slipping on a shirt and some trousers, caught his sword and called out for her again. There was no answer. He ran to Louise's room, but she slept quietly and so did her nurse and nanny by her side. Cesare left the child's chamber again and approached the nearest guard, "Where is my wife?! Where is Charlotte?"


	14. Part 14: It Happens Tonight

**Part 14: It Happens Tonight**

Lucrezia had arrived in the evening to the home she'd shared with Alfonso. It was strangely silent here, but she had nowhere else to go. She had to gather her thoughts and figure out what to do with Cesare… and what about Micheletto? The servants would not quite recognize the quiet Lucrezia this evening, who sat silently in her bath, hugging her knees and staring into nothing. She was deep in thought and she didn't reach any solution. When she went to bed there was one thing on her mind, and it wasn't Charlotte's death. How long had it been since she had held Cesare in her arms? A few days at most, but she longed for those arms and the scent of him. She left bed and wandered a bit around in the hope of finding something of his she could hug tonight. But Lucrezia found no evidence of Cesare for now. With a sigh, she fell asleep, alone and without him.

The next day came and she had a horse readied for her, so she could take a ride in the forest near the castle. Would she need a guard, they asked? Just in case, she thought, and had one follow her in a distance as she rode quietly through the woods. She had no idea for how long she'd been in the forest, but it was by a stream where she was resting, that a servant approached her and her guard. He had a note in his hand and had been told it was urgent. Lucrezia quickly unfolded it:

 _"_ _It happens tonight."_

She nodded and looked at the servant. Why had she been so afraid the other nights? She had forgotten that part of their conversation; she had told Micheletto she did not wish to know how Charlotte was to die; but she did want to know when. Of course Micheletto kept his promise. And now she knew when, but she was so far away from Rome now! But she had to try and get the word to Cesare and then he could take action, like Cesare did! Moments later, Lucrezia was on her horse, on her way back to the castle to write a fast note for Cesare. Yet she would remain here. She could not face him again until she knew Charlotte was gone; one way or the other.

The short letter had never reached Cesare.

Instead, that very same night, Charlotte had disappeared after visiting Louise and Cesare had made sure several guards were searching the Vatican for her and a possible assassin. For once he cursed under his breath and for once, he did not think of love when he thought of his sister. So it was with a strange wave of both disbelief and relief that he entered the cathedral and saw his wife, kneeling by the altar in prayer and a shadow standing by the confessional, where it could barely be seen. Cesare however looked straight at the shadow and then silently backed out again, without disturbing Charlotte. She would never know he was even here.

"Micheletto." He said the moment the shadow had left the cathedral to follow him. And Micheletto did indeed enter the faintly lit hallway, quiet and catlike.

"I have not touched her, my lord." The assassin said in a hushed voice and approached Cesare. His one hand was on the hilt of his sword, as always, and in the other he held something. Cesare took the letter from Micheletto's hand, "It would seem that I almost failed you. Again." Micheletto added, while Cesare quickly read the note from Lucrezia; telling him that Charlotte would be in danger tonight and that he must not allow her to leave his side. Micheletto was watching over Cesare so well, that he had intercepted the letter… yet at the same time, this meant he knew to not kill Charlotte after all. Cesare leaned against the nearest wall with a sigh, finally allowing himself to calm. He almost felt like scolding both Lucrezia and Micheletto, as if they were two naughty children who had taken a game too far. But nothing had happened.

"I cannot fault you for serving me the best you saw fit, Micheletto; even when I did not ask it of you. I will talk to you when she is gone." For now, he was tired and needed to tell the guards to rest and return to his own bed before Charlotte knew the uproar she'd caused by going to pray late in the night.

"Yes, my lord." Micheletto merely replied, before Cesare turned away to take care of the chaos. Micheletto remained in the hallway until Cesare was gone from sight. Not long after, Charlotte left the cathedral to return to her husband. She'd never know that she was almost killed tonight.


	15. Part 15: Beloved Sister

_Apologies for the wait on this chapter, real life once more kept me busy. I promise to have Part 16 ready soon! ~Atrice_

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 **Part 15: Beloved Sister**

The next day came and went and Lucrezia could naturally not hold her breath. She could only wait and hope that her note to Cesare had reached him in time, so that he might stop Micheletto. Meanwhile, she rode in her forests and she explored the castle, now without Alfonso. Never before did she have so much time to explore it. She had married into the family though and technically, it wasn't hers, but no one had come to throw her out yet. Of course it would happen eventually, but once she left this place, she imagined she'd never return. And she would only leave if thrown out or if Cesare wished for her to do so. Although as she was thinking about him, she realized that she needed to do what she had become used to doing… she needed to let him come to her, and not the other way around. That way, Cesare would see it as his choice and she knew their relationship bothered him more than it did her.

But by God she missed him! And God himself knew that he was only with her, when Cesare was. She even told that to Cesare once, because with him, she felt happy and safe. She wished to worship him and his body and his thoughtful eyes forever, but she couldn't do that right now. It hurt inside. And it would continue to hurt until she received word from Rome.

Another night passed without Cesare by her side and the next morning before noon, a letter reached her. She knew, even before she took it in her hand, that it was from him. And she knew that the messenger had been riding fast to get it to her. Lucrezia told the servants to give him a good meal and drink. Meanwhile, she went to her chamber, closed the door and crawled into bed to read it on her own.

 _"_ _Beloved Sister,_

 _It is with grief that I write to tell you, that I had no opportunity to be the messenger and lead you to Rome and safety. Yet I am bored and alone without you. My wife and daughter have now left for France. However, our father keeps me busy and asks that you return to Rome. Both he and our mother did wonder why you did not bid anyone goodbye, but you must have been in a rush to leave. I can only hope that you do indeed return to us all, and soon. You are missed and you are loved. Rome is not Rome without Lucrezia Borgia._

 _Your most genuine brother, Cesare."_

Lucrezia sighed and read it again. Charlotte lived; that was good. She was relieved, but instantly, new worries entered her mind. What could keep Cesare so busy, that he could not come to pick her up? Inwardly she cursed their father for keeping Cesare busy. She had planned to wait here until he arrived to get her, but he wasn't going to do that; at least not according to this letter. She stood and went to the door to call for a servant, so that her things could be packed once more… then she stopped with her hand on the handle.

"No." She said out loud, to no one but herself and the door and took a step back, "He must come to me." Her heart hurt from missing him and she wanted nothing but to be in his arms once more. But she would be no true spider, if she did not allow her prey to come to her. When she left the chamber finally, it was to go to the study to write a letter for Cesare. She picked up a piece of paper and a quill and inhaled a breath as if to gain strength. It pained her to do this, but she knew that it had to be done like this. There was no other way; she had to be certain that when she saw him again, it was because he longed for her just as much as she longed for him.


	16. Part 16: A Matter of Trust

**Part 16: A Matter of Trust**

Without Lucrezia, Rome wasn't Rome. That was what Cesare had written to her and that was how it was like to him. It was late that same evening that a letter was brought to Cesare. Rome wasn't so exciting right now… Charlotte and Louise were gone. This did not bother him much, although he'd miss his daughter greatly. What bothered him however, was that Lucrezia was not here and that only a letter had a arrived, but no Lucrezia. Rodrigo kept him busy; he had more deals that had to be made, more diplomacy to be carried out… and as if that wasn't enough, Rodrigo wanted Cesare to meet one Alfonso d'Este, Duke of Ferrera, because he was a possible new suitor for Lucrezia. For obvious reasons, Cesare did not wish to meet with Alfonso, and so he had kept himself buried with other things. Lucrezia's letter was a relief, but only before he opened it. He learned that she was busy in Naples, with the estate and with her son and that she had no time to come to Rome in any near future. But she missed him. And she loved him and she wished that he had come to her, and not the letter he sent her.

Cesare lay down on the bed where he sat, with the letter in his hand. He brought it to his face to inhale the scent of it and he did indeed think that it carried a little of Lucrezia's scent with it. She did it on purpose, didn't she? She was a Borgia, just like he. She was beautiful and witty and she was cunning. And when she wanted something, she _wanted_ it. But the difference was that…

He had heard a sound! Cesare stood up a moment later with a blade in his hand, only to face Micheletto, who had somehow entered the chamber. Cesare inhaled a breath and lowered the blade.

"You would talk, my lord." Micheletto pointed out to him before he could burst out anything and Cesare nodded. He would talk; he'd said that he would, once Charlotte was gone. But Lucrezia occupied his mind so much that he had more or less forgotten about Micheletto already. The more time they spent apart, the less he seemed able to focus on anything but her when he was alone.

"I would." Cesare admitted, "You chose to come to my sister and not me. Why?" Cesare asked, but without sitting down. He wasn't sure why, but he would remain alert and present when Micheletto was here, because it was certain that he'd do the same.

"You know why." The assassin said in the faint light in the chamber, "But that is behind us now. Only one question remains, my lord… the question about your trust in me." Cesare knew that Micheletto was right. Did he want the henchman back by his side or no? That question was easy enough, but trust was something else indeed.

"My trust in you." Cesare replied with a huff; of course he was somewhat offended still, despite how it was all behind them now, "It is hard to trust a man who disappears after a betrayal without even explaining why he did it. It is hard to trust a man who shows up again, after you've accepted his disappearance, only to have him tell you that he is dead to you." Cesare added and approached the scruffy man in the middle of the chamber, "So you tell me, Micheletto… what is my trust in you worth?"

"Everything." He met Cesare's eyes, "But what is worth more, my lord, is the thing both you and I often deny feeling. Yet you can't deny it, however hard you try." The assassin said and Cesare knew what he meant. He knew it more than anyone and he lowered his eyes for a moment. He tried so hard, denying the feeling of romantic love towards sister. Suddenly something dawned on him and he looked up at Micheletto again, as if seeing him in a new light. Love was worth more than trust. Love was why Micheletto betrayed him?

"It is indeed worth a lot." Cesare said, "But if I can't deny it, then what do you suggest I do?" Was he suddenly asking Micheletto for advice? Why? Because Cesare did not trust his own heart or mind in this matter. Micheletto met his eyes. There was no need for words, yet…

"Admit the truth to yourself, my lord. Then you have your answer. And the same goes for your trust in me." Micheletto said and Cesare nodded. He knew the answers. And he knew what he had to do.


	17. Part 17: Dreams and Reality

**Part 17: Dreams and Reality**

Lucrezia was worried. She was certain by the next morning, that now her letter had reached Cesare, but how would he react? Would he be angry upon hearing she wasn't on her way or would he miss her and come to her? Was his desire for her as great as hers was for him? She lay in her bed that morning for quite a lot time, pondering what was going to happen next in this strange little game she was playing with her brother. But his wife had just been with him and he had been upset with Lucrezia because she had wanted Charlotte dead… yet she had only feared that Charlotte would come between them and she would not have her love much longer. Just imagining him in bed with another woman caused her cheeks to blush with jealousy. She couldn't stand the thought.

When she finally left bed, she wanted to bathe. Just in case he came, she would be clean and beautiful for him. The maid took her time, washing Lucrezia's hair carefully and afterwards combing it to make sure it curled in all the right ways.

"I will have it as loose as possible; but still formal. I want to look youthful." She was not yet twenty years old, but she had left two husbands behind her and she loved her brother more than she had loved any of them. And she had a son. Today, she decided she'd spend some more time with him. He might help her forget the longing for Cesare.

The morning went too fast with Giovanni. Only when he had his nap did Lucrezia take a lonesome walk to the stream again and she looked at the water, remembering another lost lover of hers. With a sigh she sat down by the stream and ran her fingers through the water, wishing that this time, she'd see Cesare's face, "Please come to me…" She whispered sadly to the water. She heard a branch crack somewhere behind her and turned, but there was no one there. She was all alone. Lucrezia returned her gaze to the water moments later; she thought she did see her beloved's face there. She narrowed her eyes; was this dream or was the water playing a trick on her?

Then she felt a hand remove her hair from her neck and a soft and warm kiss was planted there. She closed her eyes and leaned back into his arms, "You came…" She said, turning her head to look up at her brother and he nodded and brushed more hair away from her face, while she now almost rested with her head in his lap.

"I had to. You know I had to." Cesare replied, but she thought it sounded like there was a little blame in his tone… as if he couldn't help but coming to her. As if she did something to him, that made it impossible to stay away and they both knew it. But she didn't comment and moments passed, with her just lying there and he caressed her hair gently. Lucrezia closed her eyes again, wishing it would always be like this.

"Do you remember when we dreamed about running away?" She asked and opened her eyes once more, "I wish we could do that. I wish we'd never have to face the world again. All I want is you." Lucrezia said softly and shifted to sit up and turned more against him. Cesare said nothing, but pulled her close; into a loving kiss. However once that was initiated, it was as if someone lit a fire. It had been too long… Lucrezia almost had tears in her eyes when she returned the kiss and pushed him onto his back on the forest floor. Oh how she had missed him and longed for him and now he was here. No more words were shared right now; no more words at all, until they later returned to the castle and their hands parted so the knowing servants wouldn't see it.

Once there, alone in Lucrezia's chamber once more, she wanted nothing else but undress again and be as close to Cesare as possible. But there it was… the troubled look in his eyes. With a small almost annoyed sigh, she sat down on the bed, watching him; her eyes asking questions she wouldn't even need to speak out loud.

"Father has found a promising husband for you." Cesare said, as if that made anything better. She'd just dreamed about running away and just be with Cesare, but the world did not forget Lucrezia Borgia and she must still put on her mask and play her part. Yet she hated it.

"Did he?" Lucrezia replied, sounding very uninterested, as if it was a casual and common thing that father found promising husbands for her and she didn't care for them. Well, that's what it was. Why did the world have to have anything against a sister marrying her brother?

"He is on his way to Rome as we speak. And you must come to Rome. I will take you there." Cesare said and came closer to her. Lucrezia watched him kneel in front of her, as if he was a confessor an she the priest. And what he said calmed her min, "I will be by your side."


	18. Part 18: Rome

**Part 18 – Rome**

Lucrezia sat safely in her carriage and Cesare was on his horse, right beside it. All she had to do was lean a little forward, and she'd see him there. Most often, he'd have his eyes on the road ahead of them, but sometimes, he'd glance towards her when she glanced towards him and for one everlasting moment, she felt like everything would be alright. But then their gazes broke apart and she was reminded that they were on their way to Rome and that she might meet her next husband sooner than she'd like to.

Once they arrived in Rome, she was soon enough installed into her old chambers within the Vatican, along with her son Giovanni, naturally sleeping in a chamber near her own. They had arrived late during the night and when morning came, Cesare gently kissed her cheek. Lucrezia turned to face him and couldn't help but smile. Right now, he had no wife he needed to return to and she had no husband… they had each other. If only it could be like this forever.

"Do we have to get up?" She asked with a tired grin and leaned in to kiss his soft and warm lips. Cesare returned her smile, appearing happy to be here too. Perhaps he'd finally left the whole deal with Charlotte behind him and had accepted that the love he shared with Lucrezia was the only true love he could have; and should have, according to her.

"You know we do. Our father awaits you. I do not think the Duke of Ferrera has arrived yet." Cesare said and returned her kiss, but then he slid out of bed. Cesare really was her conscience… Lucrezia knew what she would most like to do, while Cesare was the one who pulled her back to reality by reminding her of it. Sometimes she wished he didn't, but would she love him if he wasn't the Cesare she grew up with?

Lucrezia liked slow mornings, but Cesare had work to do and he couldn't stay. Lucrezia felt happy though, for once, even despite the thought of meeting a man who might marry her. She wasn't so much against it this time, for some reason. At least not right now… perhaps having Cesare close and hearing his promise two nights ago made everything better. He had promised he'd be by her side and she knew he would do everything in his power to keep that promise.

Later that morning, Lucrezia found Giovanni in the pope's arms and he seemed quite pleased to be there too. How could everything be so perfect?

"Ah, Lucrezia! We missed you!" Her father approached her to kiss her cheek and Lucrezia kissed his too and then her son. She always thought it suited her father with a child in his arms and hoped she'd be able to give him more grandchildren someday. But that meant marriage… right?

"I missed you too, father. What is this Cesare tells me, about a new promising husband?" She wondered then, sitting down on the nearest chair to watch her father play with her son. He sat down too, letting the boy bounce on his knee and laugh.

"He is on his way." Her father said and she nodded, she knew that already, "He is your senior, but only by a few years. I haven't met him, actually. But we have exchanged letters and he seems rather keen on you." Rodrigo explained with a smile and Lucrezia gave him a look, "Just… be open and sweet, as you always have been. That is all I ask."

That was all he asked for… she should be open and sweet and innocent, despite having left two husbands dead behind her and despite loving her brother more than life itself. The next day came and Lucrezia was dressed in red, white and gold to meet the Duke of Ferrera. When the maids were all done, she turned around to let the dress swirl. When she faced the door again, Cesare stood there, with an appraising smile on his face. Lucrezia couldn't help but laugh happily and he approached her. Soon his arm was linked with hers and they were on their way to the Borgias private chambers to meet the new and promising husband.

He had a beard; that was the first thing she noticed about him. It wasn't a long or scruffy beard, but it was there. Dark hair and eyes greeted hers and a small and pleasant smile. Cesare let go of Lucrezia and she approached the Duke of Ferrera quietly, holding her hand out towards him.

"Lady Lucrezia, it is a pleasure to see you." The Duke said and Lucrezia let him kiss her hand and then he stood again. He was taller than her, but most men were, she then thought. She took him in, curiously. Could she marry this man? He was certainly different than Alfonso of Aragon had been when she first met him… this one was older and definitely more confident too. Perhaps he had more in common with her brother than with her latest husband?

"It is an honor to meet you too, d'Este." She replied to him politely and took an appropriate step back, "I hope you had a pleasant journey to Rome?" She asked, not daring to glance back towards Cesare, who had left her just inside the door. She hadn't heard him leave yet, after all. And if she looked at him, she might forget the Duke.

"Indeed I did. But the journey was not nearly as pleasant as this moment." He said and Lucrezia could not help but cast her eyes down by the sudden compliment. They had only just met and he was already attempting to charm her! Then she heard someone move behind her and a moment later, Cesare stood by her side.

"My sister is always a pleasure to look at." Cesare said, but he did not wait for a reply, "Our father invites you to share dinner with us tonight." Meanwhile Lucrezia did not dare looking at Cesare… but for a different reason than mere moments ago; he had seen her reaction to this Alfonso. She hoped he didn't think it meant she loved him less suddenly. Lucrezia would always love Cesare. But Alfonso wasn't dull either.


	19. Part 19: Magic of the Spider

**Part 19 – Magic of the Spider**

The dinner with the Borgias and Alfonso d'Este was both formal, but also interesting. At least the new Alfonso did not seem to mind that Lucrezia wasn't a legally born child. He seemed to care most about the arts and the money… and apparently, Lucrezia was part of the arts. Alfonso did not only seem intrigued about the alliance and what came with it, but also by her beauty. More than once that night she had to glance away because of words spoken at the exact right times. And every time, she had felt Cesare's eyes on her, but she had not met his. It had been a while since a stranger had charmed her so. Cesare would of course often pay attention to her beauty, but he had always done that and Alfonso was much more open about it. Cesare's admiration was subtle, yet perfect. Alfonso was not subtle at all.

Now however, she sat on her bed and had just dismissed her maid. Perhaps she would marry Alfonso, but she would have to meet him alone too. She had to know what he was all about and if she could trust him to allow her certain liberties. Lucrezia had a plan…

"Lucrezia…" The tone was halfway yearning, halfway hurt and offended. She didn't even care to turn and look towards him right now; she hated it when he spoke to her like that. As if it was her fault that her father had contacted d'Este and as if it was her fault that he managed to charm her just a little. As if it was her fault that he wasn't Cesare and she couldn't openly love her own brother! Lucrezia stood before he could reach the bed, suddenly fuming. How dared _he_ feel hurt and offended?!

"You don't own me, Cesare." She said when she faced him and he stopped in his tracks, just staring at her. Was he surprised by her sudden outburst? Well, he had it coming. She lifted her chin just a bit, "No man will ever _own_ me again. I choose who I will share my life with." Her cheeks felt ablaze; and he must see it, she thought. But she couldn't make herself calm down.

"I know that, sister. Or did you think I didn't?" A moment later, he could no longer fight the urge to be close to her. Cesare rushed up to her and caught her wrists before she could walk or push him away from her, "I love you, Lucrezia. I love you." He almost growled it to her face; her anger had set him on fire too, but she met his eyes despite it all.

"I know you do. But that does not mean I belong to you. Now let go of me!" She replied and wrestled to get her hands free from him… but it didn't work. Cesare was stronger than he looked and now he made sure she was caught between him and the wall. God she could feel what this fight did to him and she closed her eyes for a moment, telling herself to not give in. Being so heated and so close to him at the same time wasn't fair. She had to be strong. Spiders might be small and look fragile, but they could be deadly.

"I will never let go of you." Cesare replied, "I can't let you marry that man. He will tear you away from me." He said, but Lucrezia still did not look away.

"He will not. Just as Charlotte would not tear you away from me, or how was it?" Lucrezia said, but this time she felt the tears of pain in her eyes. But which kind of pain? The one she had felt in her heart or the physical pain that Cesare added to her right now? No matter what, she didn't want it.

She inhaled a deep breath and let the tears run quietly down her cheeks, "Please let go, Cesare. You're hurting me." And as if it was magic, he did let go of her, although he did not move away from her. Lucrezia brought her hands up in front of her, rubbing her wrists. The tears had ceased and the fire had returned to her eyes again, "They better not bruise! But listen to me." She slid away from him and Cesare turned, following her with his eyes, "I love you too, Cesare. And I choose to share my life with you!" She explained firmly and came closer to him again, "But I need to speak to him… alone. All will be well. Trust me, Cesare. Just… trust me." And before he could speak, she pressed her lips to his and soon the rest of the world was forgotten.


	20. Part 20: Lucrezia's Terms

_Apologies for the very long wait this time! Life caught up with me, but I am determined to finish this story. I hope you enjoy it! ~Atrice_

* * *

 **Part 20 – Lucrezia's Terms**

She hated fighting with Cesare… but what followed was something almost as good as the first time she slid into his bed, for what seemed so long ago. When Cesare had left that next morning, Lucrezia didn't get up right away. She had a plan and as she had told Cesare the night before – she knew it would all be well. Besides, it simply had to, else she could not marry and everyone wanted her to marry. Last time her father wanted her to marry; she had been reluctant because her first marriage was the worst experience she had in her life. But her latest husband had been gentle and sweet, at least to begin with, and the new Alfonso was charming enough to make her curious. And she would meet him today… alone, as she had told her brother.

Today, she dressed in friendly colors; green and gold. Then she left her chamber and her maids behind. In the Vatican gardens she found Alfonso d'Este, admiring an ancient statue from her father's collection of antiquities.

"Good morning my lord." Lucrezia greeted him kindly and he turned to smile at her. He did have a kind smile, she thought. He was nothing like Sforza, but nothing like Aragon either. And he was definitely no Cesare. But he would do. She asked him to walk with her and he gladly did so.

"I enjoyed dinner last night. Your brother however… I fear he does not approve of our union, if it is to happen." Alfonso pointed out and she looked up at him, wondering if he had had guessed anything and if he had heard the rumors. But it didn't matter.

"He does not. I love my brother dearly and he cares deeply for me. He worries." Lucrezia explained and she wasn't even lying, "But I wish that he didn't. I am certain that if we were to marry, we would both do our utmost to make the marriage enjoyable." She looked up at him with a playful glance to her eyes and he nodded once, but she did not allow him to speak just yet. Instead more serious features returned to her face, "I do have terms of my own… if we decide to stay with the idea of marriage."

"Terms, my lady? I have heard terms for marriages before, but never from such a young lady." He said, but sounded more amused than annoyed. And perhaps he even sounded a little curious. For what did the lady Lucrezia have on her mind?

"This lady has been married twice before. This lady knows what she wants." She said with a small certain smile and picked up his hand, touching him, "I must admit, you do make me… fascinated. But I cannot ignore my own desires and I know they will always spread and not only include you and I." Lucrezia added and met his eyes, certain that he now had some idea of what her terms were. And if he would agree to those terms, then she had already made her decision… no matter what Cesare would think of them. After all, she knew that her father would make her marry _someone_ eventually. And Alfonso d'Este was certainly not the worst to marry so far. "I will be your wife, d'Este. But you will not _own_ me." He arched a brow by her words and then he covered her hand with his other one. Her small hand was hidden by both of his now, as if had taken a small part of her. She inhaled a breath.

"I never imagined I could own a Borgia." Alfonso replied with a chuckle, "And your terms are interesting, to say the least. Yet… as a man, I suppose I should not be against them. An unhappy and jealous wife is not a pleasant wife… and I do assume that the idea of not ignoring desires will go both ways too. You wish to be free, I understand that. As long as that is mutual." He added and Lucrezia felt herself relax almost instantly. This was exactly what she had been hoping for!

"Indeed." She said and this time, a true smile lit a spark in her eyes, "I am glad that you are not against my terms. Very glad." She said and he let go with his one hand and let the other wrap around hers, so that they were now holding hands.

"As I said, I am not against them… as long as said desires will also turn towards me. I will be the _husband_ , after all." Alfonso said and tugged her closer, which surprised her, but she allowed it and looked up at him. With her honesty, he could hardly expect she wouldn't want to be closer to him. She had made it quite clear that she was no virgin at all. She could feel the warmth of his body this close and what he said next he spoke in a lower voice; only meant for her. Lucrezia felt warm too, "And trust me, my lady… I will not leave you wanting."


	21. Part 21: Moods

**Part 21 – Moods**

Lucrezia was rather pleased with herself. She wandered around in the gardens alone, looking at the beautiful flowers and the roses and smiling at the sight of them. Everything would work out perfectly now. She would have a husband, just like her father wanted, and her husband would allow her to keep a lover. So Lucrezia could have what she wanted too. Lucrezia was really quite the magician, wasn't she? She ran her fingers over a soft white rose petal, and didn't stop when she heard footsteps on the nearby path.

"You seem in a good mood, Lucrezia." Her father's voice sounded from the path, and Lucrezia looked at him, with glowing cheeks and a genuine smile on her face. She walked over the grass and to her father.

"I am in a good mood, father. And your mood will improve too." She said in a very confident and almost secretive tone. Rodrigo was very pleased to see his daughter so happy, but he could only wonder what would make her so happy. Knowing she was a Borgia however, he'd guess that she had desired something and now it was within her grasp.

"Tell me then, daughter, how will you enhance my mood? What have you gained, that will cheer up everyone?" He asked and for a moment, her smile faded. But only for a moment! It returned soon as she met his eyes with a spark in hers.

"I am to be married soon, father; and to a man of your approval. Will that cheer you up?" She asked and walked past him, back towards the entrance to the family's chambers and quarters. Lucrezia didn't wait to see his reaction and didn't turn around.

"Well done Lucrezia!" Rodrigo said behind her, "Thank God!" And she imagined he did. Meanwhile, Lucrezia cast a glance at the sky. The sun had set, and soon she would have a meal. And then she would tell Cesare the happy news. Only… would he be happy? This was why her smile had faded momentarily not long ago, when her father thought the news would cheer up everyone. She still wondered if Cesare would be very thrilled. And she knew him well enough; he wouldn't and she would have to brace herself to handle that. Lucrezia, however, was pleased with her deal with Alfonso and she would make Cesare understand. That was her privilege, after all.

For once, she was the one waiting in his chamber. Often it was Cesare that came to her and she rather liked that – to her, it proved how much he wanted her. But she wanted him too and with the news she had, how could she not want him even more? She could keep him! She would be married to a very enticing man and she would not have to let go of her beloved Cesare. All they had to do was keep her lover a secret, because even Alfonso would frown upon _such_ a close relationship between brother and sister. Still though, she loved Cesare. Lucrezia sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned back on her arms when the door opened and her brother entered. He stopped the moment he saw her. She noticed that the troubled gaze had returned to his eyes. And at the same time, she'd say there was a spark of anger in them. Good, she thought. Anger, she could work with.

"You told me to trust you. You said that all would be well." Cesare said then, before she could even open her mouth. She watched him shrug his jacket off and in her mind, she dared him to remove the shirt too, but he didn't. He wasn't in the mood for pleasure, she knew that. Only she wished he was. Yet when he now approached her, he stopped before he could reach her. Lucrezia stood and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"And all _is_ well. It is as it should be." Lucrezia said with a soft smile, knowing she had to be the one to convince him her plan was a good idea. But he already spoke in riddles and she hated that, "Why do you think it will not be well?"

"You know why." Cesare replied and Lucrezia realized something she barely even considered before – she knew him and his moods very well, but he knew her just as well. While she could guess his thoughts, he knew hers too, "He will tear you away from me. I will not let you go." Cesare repeated words he'd said before and Lucrezia sighed.

"And you won't have to, brother. Everything is settled with him. He will allow me to… take pleasure with others but him. You will not have to let me go." Lucrezia explained to him and her hands slid down over his front to this time settle around his back and she pulled closer to him, "I am yours, Cesare." This time, she heard him sigh and she looked up to meet his handsome eyes.

"As I am yours, sis. But as a married woman, you will have to follow your husband. You will not stay in Rome." Cesare explained and he was right. That would be a problem. Lucrezia, who thought she had it all figured out, had forgotten one important detail… the distance that would be between her and Cesare if she moved away. But the answer to the problem was obvious, wasn't it?

"Then you will have to follow me." Lucrezia finally said and moved a hand up to stroke his cheek, "Will you do that for me?" And with that, she finally gained a reaction. He pulled her closer to him and buried his face by her shoulder and kissed her bare and sensitive skin.

"I will follow you anywhere." He replied and she could feel the hot breath on her neck. Lucrezia closed her eyes and once more gave into the desires they both had – glad that she had convinced Cesare that all would be well. She could only hope their father would let him keep his promise.


	22. Part 22: The Inevitable Problem

**Part 22 – The Inevitable Problem**

He would follow her anywhere. That's what he said. But when they kissed that morning and Lucrezia left Cesare's chamber, she wondered once more if their father would truly allow it. She would have to make sure it _could_ happen. On the other hand, while her betrothed would allow lovers, they would still have to make sure he never learned the identity of her lover. Perhaps a little distance would be better, so he wouldn't suspect too much. After all, the rumors had been going around since before Juan died. Sometimes she thought Juan had helped spreading the rumors, but they'd never know that now. Thankfully, he was gone and she and Cesare still lived. Lucrezia slipped into her own chamber and called for a maid so she could get properly dressed.

She was only just dressed though and the maid was moving on to do her hair, when there was a knock on the door and she allowed whoever it was to enter. It was her betrothed, Alfonso.

"Good morning… already visiting my private chambers? But we are not yet married." Lucrezia said with a spark in her eye and waved the maid away to face him properly.

"We are not, but we soon will be. And I thought that despite your beauty, I would give you this." And Alfonso brought a hand he had hidden on his back to her. In it there was a box and Lucrezia smiled and took it. A present? And something pretty, by the way he said it. Lucrezia opened the box and found a beautiful necklace inside – golden and with purple amethysts. Purple was a color that symbolized a higher spiritual power and gold did the same.

"This is very pretty indeed. Thank you, d'Este." Lucrezia looked up at him, "I would like to wear it now. But alas, I sent my maid away. Would you?" And of course he would. He picked the necklace up and Lucrezia held her hair so he could close the necklace behind her neck. She felt his warm fingers on her skin and how close he stood behind her and it didn't feel wrong. She also felt how his fingers lingered there, and when she let go of her hair, he ran his fingers through it. Lucrezia almost shivered by the feeling and turned around to face him.

"It suits you. As I knew it would." He said and Lucrezia smiled again. He really was charming and handsome in his own way too, although of course, he was no Cesare.

"Thank you once more. But now you must go. I will see you later, husband to be." Lucrezia waved with her hand and he understood the gesture and bowed, before he left her. She went to take a look in the mirror and the necklace really did suit her well. He had chosen it well and she was glad about her decision too. Yet a part of her still feared what Cesare would think. She did not want to lose her brother or his love, but she did not wish to lose her husband before she even married him either.

Meanwhile, Cesare had dressed too and was strapping the belt around his waist when he got that feeling, that he wasn't alone in the room. It couldn't be Lucrezia by now… and he thought he knew this strange feeling.

"Micheletto… your presence honors me." He turned around to face his old assassin, whom he hadn't seen since Charlotte left, "Tell me why you're here." Since Micheletto now made a habit out of appearing when he thought it was right, it couldn't be for a good reason.

"You are not safe, my lord. And it is partly my fault." Micheletto said. Cesare wondered about his words, but the assassin continued before Cesare could argue against Micheletto's words, "I advised you towards love. And now you will not give up on love, yet you may be forced to. Or you may lose everything." Micheletto said from his spot by the window and Cesare sighed. Just as he thought it was all going well, Micheletto had to be his conscience and point out that it wasn't well at all. Cesare did not want to let go of Lucrezia and she said that he wouldn't have to. Yet there was some truth to Micheletto's words; if Alfonso learned about their affair…

"Then what do you suggest I do this time?" Cesare asked, although he barely had to. Just by the look on Micheletto's face, he knew what was on the other man's mind. And his sister would not be pleased.


	23. Part 23 - Choiches

**Part 23 – Choices**

Cesare was not in the best of moods after his conversation with Micheletto that morning. He buried himself in work with the army and training that day to try and think about something else. What he didn't know was that Lucrezia was walking around wearing a most precious necklace from her new fiancé. He did not know until the same evening, when the family dined together with d'Este once more. Cesare was already present with Rodrigo, when Lucrezia entered in her beautiful gown and her sparkling necklace.

"Sister… it is good to see you." Cesare said, trying to appear formal near their father and then he placed a hand on the small of her back to lead her further into the room and away from their father, who had already sat down by the table, "Where did you get that?" He asked her and Lucrezia gave him a half-surprised look, but did not answer, because they were joined by Alfonso and Vanozza that same moment. She looked towards him and Cesare saw it. And from then it was easy enough to put two and two together. Soon enough they all sat down and dinner was served. They were all oddly quiet at first and Cesare was the first to speak.

"Tell me, d'Este… except for a title, money and charming words, what else can you offer my sister?" He asked her and Lucrezia gave him a somewhat displeased look. But then she remembered herself and thought that the question was in fact not all that bad. She knew, or rather guessed, what else he might offer her, but what would he tell her family?

"I'm not sure what you mean." D'Este said, clearly caught off guard with the question, "I will certainly do my utmost to offer her a free and happy life. I won't lock her inside a dark castle, if that's what you mean." He added, but Cesare was watching him intently.

"A free and happy life? Far away from her beloved family?" Cesare continued, but this time even Rodrigo thought it was too much.

"There, Cesare, I am certain Lucrezia will be pleased with her new marriage. Won't you, dearest daughter?" And now they were all looking at her. Lucrezia raised her glass of wine slowly and drank a sip, as if to create some tension and keep them all waiting. She could tell it annoyed her brother too, but she didn't mind much. To her, it only proved she still had his heart.

"I am certain that I will be." She finally replied, "But Cesare is right, Holy Father. I will be far from the people I love most. I hope that you will allow me to visit often… and that my brother may check on me too… just in case." She said, remembering her first husband and how she wished Cesare had come sooner. Then she looked at Alfonso, "Not that I don't trust you… but my brother does care for me, as I do for him." Lucrezia explained kindly to Alfonso, who nodded and tried to appear understanding. But she too saw the less pleased look on his face. In his own way, Cesare had challenged him. And she wondered what either of them would do about it. Lucrezia knew nothing about Cesare's recent conversation with Micheletto. All she knew was that if she had to pick one man - if she could not have both - it was obvious who she would be with. And it might have to come to that, unless she wanted blood shed.

Later that night, she knew she would have to return to Cesare's chamber. Now that Alfonso had visited her once, what was to stop him from doing it again? And what if Cesare was there? She could not allow him to find out. And so she quietly entered Cesare's chamber. She knew she ought to scold him for his words at the dinner table, but he had a few good points and there was no way she could stay away from him. If she sought to punish him, she too would be punished, for she would miss him. It was Cesare she loved, after all. She could never love another.

"Hello my love." Lucrezia approached him and slid her arms around his waist from behind, while resting her cheek against his naked and warm back, "Are you very angry with me?" She then asked and heard him sigh gently, before he turned to her and wrapped his arms around her too.

"Do you really think I can be?" He asked and leaned down to press a soft and fond kiss to her lips, "Sometimes though… I don't know where I stand with you. I can never be your husband. Yet I want you… I want you like no one else." He said and she noted the heat in his voice. And while she wished the same that he did – that they could marry – she too knew that they never could. At least not in this world. She bit her lip while thinking and then she smiled.

"Do you remember our conversation, years ago… when we joked about running away together?" She then asked, and Cesare nodded. He remembered that conversation so clearly; she had asked him to marry her. That was not the case now though, but he did wonder what she was up to with that mischievous gaze. And she shared it just a moment later, "Why don't we?"


End file.
